11 March 2017 – a moment of pondering

Last night as I held the vomit bag in front of Dylan’s mouth, tissues in my other hand, simultaneously cradling his head on my belly, for the second time that day, I thought about the vast contrasts in this journey. He is better yet still sick. In fact he is in worse shape than he was a year ago, and if truth be told a year ago if left untreated he would of most likely been dead today, if not dead most definitely been in a much worse reality.

My heart aches with the paradox of this journey. Continue reading “11 March 2017 – a moment of pondering”

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A life to remember – Dad

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“It’s been an honor Dad.
Today we are Celebrating a life well lived
He was loud
Strong willed
Hard working
Funny and friendly
He was so loved
And he will be very fondly remembered.
Generous, a joker and so helpful, he accepted you as is ……”

Continue reading “A life to remember – Dad”

Awake and Aware

 

imageAwake and Aware
“we all get rocks along the journey, they’re all gems in their own right”

Dylan, my 13 year old son and I started an Instagram page a month or so ago, sharing his ‘treatment’ journey, to help create awareness of childhood cancer. This journey is pretty hectic and I have found that sharing short and fast is easier rather than a longer piece written on a blog, so haven’t written much here. But Instagram is our shared page for sharing and my blog is my space for sharing. I still honor and respect that this is Dylan’s journey and so I get his ‘approval’ before I share anything publicly, but I suppose I can share differently in my blog.
It’s been 6 months that we’ve been on this crazy ride and I recently shared a collection of ‘the face of childhood cancer’ of Dylan, and realized that we are still not really sharing all of it, I’m not sure the whole picture can ever be shared, but in our quest to raise awareness I write this short blog and share it with you all.

 

I can’t share photos of Dylan in pain, crying, frustrated, sick, confused and afraid because at those moments I was holding him, comforting him, drying his tears, wiping his head, holding the vomit bag, having him squeeze my hand … There are accidental shots, very far and few between that capture the rest of the reality behind the smile. Maybe this is why we have half a picture of what childhood cancer really is.
Childhood cancer doesn’t end after the last radiation or the final chemo drug is injected. Children’s bodies and minds are not fully grown, so the treatments they receive have very far reaching consequences on their lives, forever. When Dylan has his final dose of chemo, his journey changes,


it doesn’t end. I share this not for pity or sympathy, but for awareness, I share this for the others who will encounter this path in life, for the ones who won’t, because I never knew this world existed until now, perhaps sharing this will bring that one day closer, the day where treatments are only helpful and not harmful.

 

Our only intention is to create awareness. Help us make a difference to the future of Children who will travel this path, share the awareness, be the change.

 

image‘This kid is definitely walking this path in presence and peace with courage and acceptance.’

My Journey Through the Universe

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When I began this journey a few years ago I had no idea how things would unfold, my expectations were limited in a sense – I thought I would learn about astrology in a new way with the usual meanings. Well that didn’t quite happen, something much more valuable was learnt, yip, I was being taught how to trust.
The classes involved meditation, attunement and conversation. Both a unique experience and a shared experience.

My very first class, we were doing Aries and Mars, I was a little nervous, I really had no idea what to expect, but I was willing and eager to learn. So we begin with meditation, followed by attunement, very much like a surrender and an opening up to another dimension, the information begins to flow, somewhat haphazardly but flow it does.
I feel this energy physically, I see images, like watching a variety of film clips, the images seem random, with not much relevance, I cannot track time at all.

“Traveling fast, through time, through history, this is very fast moving, I feel pressure in my head, it’s busy. I see an old man, with a beard and long hair. I see the eye of Horus, the colour is deep golden orange, the word Zeus is heard, there’s a storm swirling, eye of the storm, Observe, right foot and left shoulder feels a pressure, my right hand is burning. Initially I feel a bit of fear, there’s an image of almost a devil? buffalo? ram?
I am told – Forget all, let go of what you know about it. Grab the bull by the horns…”

This was my experience with the Aries energy….a pretty hot start with a profound message – “Forget all, let go of what you know about it. Grab the bull by the horns”. I understood this as a very clear message that throughout this journey through the stars I would need to go in as a ‘clean slate’ if I wanted to ‘get’ the messages that were being delivered through me.
It took me a number of weeks, probably months before I learnt how to work more effectively with this. Initially I made notes, attempting to capture those feelings I experienced and made rough sketches of what images I had seen, but it was challenging for me to translate it into something I understood and could share. Then one day I sat down and began to draw it, and that was it, each image was captured and the words written and it felt understood – granted it was perhaps only understood by me, but I felt a great sense of consolidation as each energy was transferred from my mind onto paper. As the year progressed I had connected more with my guides, and was able to ask them for assistance in understanding things, I also learnt to ask questions while experiencing the energies, thus getting more clarity and so much more information.

Once I had completed the course, all attunements done, it was time for me to consolidate all the information I had received. The images had flowed out of me with ease that year, the creative process seemed to be so simple. Perhaps because I was a vessel and allowed it to flow freely. But next came the more technical side of things, not my forte but something I felt compelled to do. So I did the research and finally found a place online that printed oracle cards, well they print all sorts of things, but I just wanted to have one deck of cards printed, for my reference. After trial and error, lots of help form my husband, I finally got my astrology oracle cards printed.
At this point I was very tempted to pack it all away and begin a new journey of discovery, but I was being nudge to share more, I was being guided to share this joy and passion for astrology with others. Now I was totally out of my comfort zone, astrology is this lifelong study that cannot be boxed into a single category, it’s history goes so far back, it seeps into every culture that ever existed, it’s infused into nature, surrounded by mystery and magic but calculated by mathematics, it’s not a belief and it’s not a science it is something beyond that, and I do believe it will go on evolving, expanding and enticing us forever.
Anyway this seemed like the test, the personal test to see if I trusted myself, trusted the universe, if I could feel the fear and do it anyway! So I stepped out, I started a study group, where for a year we shared our unique impressions of these cards. I learnt so much, I saw more in each card, different perspectives and messages. As I read, and watch and learnt more about the world of astrology I saw more depth in these cards, mythology, colours, animals, elements, feelings, so many things began to reveal themselves. The one truth I am always being reminded of is that it’s an intuitive journey, in an evolving world so I must allow this free flow of information, respecting others unique perspectives and trusting myself.
And so now here I am, compelled to share my love of astrology and the wisdoms she holds, I have shared these cards, and am still excavating information from them, there is no final destination just a constantly evolving adventure.

As I now embark on my journey further I would love for you to share in this adventure. I will share what I discover as I dig a little deeper with each individual energy and your feedback, insights and inspired thoughts will be most welcome.

I Am

A gentle breeze, a gale force wind, I arrive and I depart. Into this world and out of this world. Spreading seeds, facilitating growth, creating destruction. I arrive and I depart, the illusion. I am nowhere and I am everywhere, always. I am seen, loud and vivid and I am silent, invisible and still. I am here, now, forever. I am spirit.